Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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