At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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