gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
