well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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