I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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