She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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