i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
