i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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