I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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