We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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