I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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