I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Randomize
