A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
