How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
