k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
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Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
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he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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