i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
