If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
