people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
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