I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
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she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
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We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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