if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
