i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
