"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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