You smell like stripper and shame
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
