normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
