i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
