careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
