I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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