D3 body, D1 cock
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
