"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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