she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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