I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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