Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
