So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize