You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
