if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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