To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
