I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back