i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.