I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
love makes seman taste better
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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