okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated