Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
its liver damage thursday
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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