you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
