my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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