Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
