Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize