He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
