I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize