Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
