i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I am available for nakedness
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize