Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
