i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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