ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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