The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
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You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
you had me at cake vodka
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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