stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
