Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize