Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Randomize
