if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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