If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
