please come you make the beer taste better
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
